Lithp Jokes

A guy owns a horse stud farm. One day a friend phones him up , "I've sent a dwarf with a speech impediment to see you. He wants to buy a horse". Sure enough the dwarf turns up.

Dwarf asks "I want to buy a horth"

The owner asks him "Do you want a male horse or a female horse ?"

The Dwarf replies "A female horth"

The owner shows him a Mare.

"Nithe Horth" says the Dwarf, "can I thee her eyth?" The owner picks up the Dwarf to show him the Horses eyes.

"Nithe eyth" says the Dwarf "can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.

"Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?" The Dwarf asks. By now the owner is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the Dwarf to show him the horses ears.

"Nithe eerth," he says "Can I see her twot?" With this the owner picks up the Dwarf and shoves his head deep between the horse's legs, holding him there for a second before pulling him out & putting down.

"Perhaps I should rephrathe that" said the Dwarf, "can I see her wun awound?"


A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp,
"Do you have widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widde white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She puts her hands on her knees, leans forward, and says in a quiet voice,
"I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."